WANTED: Someone to restore Arteri and give it 2nd life. Interested? Email: mail.sharonchin.com
Ok so we are a little late in our first instalment of the most anxiously awaited piece of text collected in recent times: The Malaysian Art Dictionary (M.A.D). But better late then never. So as mentioned it works like this. We start the ball rolling with a selection of short quippy entries and then its up to you to add alternative meanings to the ones we have suggested and also contribute new words with your own definitions.
Abstract: adj/verb/noun. Adj: of no figurative (is that possible in Malaysia?) or any type of representational connotation ie no idea what the artist is going on about, verb to remove, noun Abstract work of art, you know like Piet Mondrian and Kasimir Malevich.
Abstract Expressionism: art ‘ism’ or movement or whatever. The controlling Bapa of Malaysian Art, who gets frustrated with his eldest son Realist, middle child Social Realist and troublesome youngest child Neo Realist but still loves them all. It’s all about the emotion, intuition and spontaneity which lets artists be lone figures struggling with their inner angst. Syed Ahmad Jamal’s masterpiece Tulisan, 1961, fits into this one as well as works by Abdul Latiff Mohidin, Jailani Abu Hassan and Jolly Koh to name but a few (check them out at the National Art Gallery) .
Aiyah/Aiyo: interjection: an exclamation of surprise or dissatisfaction. “Aiyo! why do Malaysian painters always use drips in their work?” not to be confused with aiyah (not the feminine version) which is more condescending, “Aiyah why conceptualism got to be so simple/complicated, where is the art?”
Annexe Gallery: noun: cool space next to Central Market in China Town. Run by fun, passionate crazies. Lots of little artist spaces which are now starting to disappear (miss you Rice Cooker). Top floor spaces has been the site for numerous large scale performances, talks, exhibitions, parties and who knows what else. Quite recently, now also the entertainment space for busy government works at lunchtime. See here and here.
Arteri: noun: online blogazine which began in March 2009, open platform for ideas/opinions and rantings on contemporary art and culture in Malaysia and Southeast Asia. Also a dysfunctional but supportive community made up of passionate crazies. P.S not really a word more a name but this is our dictionary so it is now!
Artist (Fine): noun: someone who creates new ways of looking at the world, who makes the ordinary extraordinary. This is done through drawing, painting, sculpture (not much in Malaysia), photography, film making, performing, assemblage, writing (not all at the same time). Someone who rarely if ever sets foot in an office and is otherwise unemployed.
(EM)
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Ayam Masak Merah (Chicken Cooked in Red): noun Need I say more? My favourite dish. Sedap sekali! A work of art indeed!
ABU (Asal Bukan U***):noun Street art/vandalism/intervention translated into people’s power. Makhal Sakti!
is a dangerous species of virus that is responsible for stimulating ‘creative’ and ‘imaginative’ powers in the neurological system of its infected host. Almost all animals carry a latent form of this virus but primates, and homo sapians especially, are for some yet to be explained reasons, very vulnerable to its effects.
The discovery of the art virus was made in 2007 when neuroscientists from Finland using quantum computing imaging software and nanobot scanners examined a preserved brain tissue of Pablo Picasso.
The art virus has many forms of mutations. When environmental conditions are ‘right’ for a particular type of art virus, its rapid replication will manifests into a particular ‘trend’ or ‘style’ among the ‘culture’ of its hosts. The latest massive outbreak was the EMO art virus which of course is a less dangerous (but more annoying) mutation of the European EXPRESSIONIST of the 1930s.
The art virus is especially active at an organism early developmental stage. The effects wear off with age as our body’s natural defence mechanism learn to resist the antiboredom molecules released by the art virus, thus becoming healthy serious adults.
Organisms who fail to develop resistance to the virus pose a risk to themselves as well as the society they belong to. Throughout history, there have been many cases of a Super Art Virus pandemic that bought total annihilation of entire populations or even species.
Scientists working closely with anthropologists and art historians are only beginning to piece together the destructive nature of the art virus and understand why there are currently no other intelligent primates except for homo sapian sapian.
Deep In the Taklamakan Desert in Central Asia in 2008, powerful satellites allowed archaeologists to find pits with thousands and thousands of the once rare ‘Venus’ figurines dating back to 50,000 BCE. Since the production of such sculptures would have been very time consuming, it is suggested that Neanderthals infected with the Super Art Virus took on an obsessive ‘art’ making and hoarding behaviour and lost their survival instinct.
Those few who were not infected could not compete with the healthier homo sapiens either died out or most probably, cross bred with them and passed a weaken form of the art virus to the new species of hominids.
Havard Paleoanthropologist Prof. R.U Sirius goes further and theorises that the great ‘Out of Africa’ migration that prehistoric man took 200,000 years ago was also caused by various forms of the art virus: ‘Yes, yes, as climatic shifts occurred, early man followed the migration patterns of the animals they hunted but given the variety of directions and the great distances they took, its obvious that a stronger impulse must have made them choose which way to go.
Groups infected with the painting virus searched out places with rocky or sandy areas with big flat surfaces to draw on and make simple pigments. The fashion virus is particularly strong even at this early stage. The uncontrollable desire to make jewellery from the ivory and wear the fur of the saber tooth lion and woolly mammoth must have been the only reason why certain groups would be crazy enough to track and hunt down such gigantic and ferocious beasts.’
When asked if dinosaurs were also infected with the art virus, Prof. R.U Sirius replied : ‘Dinosaurs were art virus clean. As such, they managed to live in balance with the environment. Dinosaurs were around for millions of years. Everybody knows it was the giant asteroid that killed them ! …it must have been that damn asteroid that bought the virus to earth eh?’
A, as in Ay, what, pardon, what did you say, sorry I didn’t quite catch that I’m a foreigner here and can’t quite catch the lingo mate, sorry about that, Ay, say again, what, blimey mate speak up, cat got your tongue, what was that, a slamming what oh assalamualaikum, well why didn’t you just say so, oh you did, never mind – wa `Alaykum As-Salaam
Apanama – ‘Whatshisname’, useful substitute noun when one cannot, or more archly, will not, remember the name of a given individual, institution, etc. Its offensive use was popularised by Mahathir. “Aiyah, it’s that bosan sampai pengsan abstract expressionist again…apanama, ah? Never thought I’d see him at the Annexe Gallery. Jom, kita pi makan ayam masak merah!”
(with a tip of the hat to ‘Unwelcome Words’ from New Malaysian Essays 1)
(b.1943) is the visionary leader and CEO of Sky Kingdom Inc., a private business dealing in human resource training. His high standards and distinctive taste in corporate art patronage did much to capture the imagination of his 10,000 strong agents and turned his small headquarters located in the sleepy town of Besut into a center of international attention.
Unlike most corporations which saw art as tools for decoration, investment, displaying status, or possibly tax evasion, Ayah Pin knew that the monumental tea pots and umbrella he commissioned at a cost of RM 45 million would become the beacons of hope and change that was promised to those working at Sky Kingdom Inc.
One devoted Sky Kingdom worker was quoted saying:’Tea breaks were all that I would think about at my former office. Now that I am here, I feel alive and willing to serve’
In early 2005, there were plans by curators of the Dia Foundation to transport one of Ayah Pin’s giant tea pots to their 300,000-square-foot gallery at Beacon, New York for a temporary exhibition which would have included other colossal works by artists such as Claes Oldenburg, Louise Bourgeois,and Richard Serra.
Unfortunately, the grand displays of Ayah Pin also bought unwanted attention from older and larger rival corporations. Sky Kingdom Inc. headquarters was subjected to vandalism, governmental investigation for corruption charges, and eventually shut down by August that year.
Ayah Pin is suspected to be in hiding alongside Osama Bin Laden in North Korea and they are said to be planing their comeback with even more spectacular performances and monumental constructions.
( http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4692039.stm )
is the pathetic means by which humankind tries to capture cosmic reality. By tuning into an abstract work, one can for a moment sense the limitations of their anthropomorphised perspective of the universe and possibly achieve spiritual orgasm of infinite proportions.
Incredible abstract art can be found here: http://hubblesite.org/
Albert Camus, the French Algerian philosopher who is often associated with existentialism but enthusiastically refused the term, is famous for propounding his theory of the Absurd.
According to absurdism, there is a fundamental disharmony that arises out of the co-presence of man and the universe. Man has a desire for order, meaning, and purpose in life (LIKE WHAT THIS DICTIONARY IS ABOUT), but the universe is indifferent and meaningless (WHEN MALAYSIA NO LONGER EXISTS, WILL THIS DICTIONARY STILL MEAN ANYTHING?); the Absurd arises out of this conflict.
As beings looking for hope in a meaningless world, Camus says there are three solutions to this dilemma.
Suicide:The first solution to the dilemma is simply to end one’s life. Camus rejects this choice as cowardly.
Religious belief in a transcendent world: Such a belief would posit the existence of a realm that is beyond the Absurd, and, as such, has meaning. Camus calls this solution “philosophical suicide” and rejects it because it amounts to the destruction of reason, which in his view is as fatal as suicide of the body.
Accept the Absurd: According to Camus, this is the only real solution. It is to accept or even embrace the absurdity of life and to continue living. The Absurd is a crucial characteristic of the human condition, and the only true way to deal with this is bold acceptance of it. Life, according to Camus, can “be lived all the better if it has no meaning.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meaning_of_life#Absurdism
Most Malaysians choose option 2.
Those who accept option 3 can often be found at art openings still in search for meaning.
Suicide is no longer an option since the act itself has become absurd:-
‘An hero’ from urban dictionary
an hero
1) Committing suicide over something really stupid.
2) Failing to commit suicide over something really stupid.
3) Doing something stupid, which results in accidentally killing yourself.
4) Also sometimes used on the work safe boards for someone who deliberately posts porn, which is considered both “suicidal” (due to the ban that usually follows), but truly heroic.
Term originates from a grammatically incorrect poem posted at a myspace memorial for a boy (Mitchell) who killed himself when he couldn’t find his ipod.
Example: Yasmin Browder hung herself when her mother didn’t let her watch big brother; she is an hero.
– are the kind of artist whose work gives you mental ejaculations or emotional chills even if you are just faced with a bad reproduction of their incredible shit.
– should be differientiated with the genius, who is ‘born with it’.
– an alpha artist is more traditionally known as a ‘master’ but since there are hardly any apprenticeship system around these day, it’s more appropriate to describe the big kahunas using words associated with capitalistic sociaty’s fetish for order, ranking and marking dominance.
– an artist keen on collaboration will assemble his/her ‘A-Team’.
– the gallerist always has an ‘A’ list for everything: profitable artists, prime collectors, cooperative press and writer, quick framers, reliable transporters, cool guests, and generous sponsors.
Adam was the first man and also the first gallery sitter for Grod’s private art gallery, eARTh. His duty as a ‘sitter’ was clearly visualized by Michelangelo on the Sistine Ceiling (1511).
The generally accepted interpretation that Adam was receiving the ‘spark of life’ is not tenable. We are undoubtably at a moment well past Adam’s initial creation from dust and clay since part of his body is already in action.
The presence of a belly button and suggests that Grod would have stuck his finger in that area instead of touching fingers, which when one pictures it being done between two real grown men, is rather feminizing instead of empowering.
In the fresco, Grod was actually pointing out to Adam the details of his job function as gallery sitter. When it dawned on Adam that he had to stay put and keep watch from the peak of Mount Everest forever, Adam’s initial reaction to accept his fate. This resignation is seen in the way his right hand, toes, and penis curls timidly inwards and away from Grod.
Yet Adam was not contented to be a passive observer. As Grod continued pointing and bla-blad on and on about not letting angels touch his creations and making sure visitors signed the guestbook(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoglyph), Adam courageously faced his creator and raised his eyes to him. He then pulled in his left leg and was just about to push himself off the rocks to grab Grod’s index finger when Grod’s chief security officer, Eve spotted this and along with the band of killer cherubs, whisked Grod to safety.
In his magnimity, Grod would forgive man’s first rebellion against him and sign of disinterest towards artistic matters.
Before going off on a long holiday, Grod left on eARTh his most trusted agent, Eve to keep eye on Adam keeping eye on eARTh. ‘At least there’s someone to keep watch and my toilet breaks’ he thought. Adam took on longer and longer breaks to wander around eARTh. Adam thus begin to actually enjoy Grod’s creations.
The more responsible Eve did no such thing. As she sat alone keeping watch of the gallery while Adam smelled the roses, her mind begin to uncoil and this gave her strange ideas about destroying the dinosaurs…
is the EYEconic leader of the Malaysian oposition party, Keadilan. He is well known for his oratory skills but is also constantly dogged with charges of buggery:
‘On September 29, 1998 Anwar appeared in court and pleaded innocent to charges of corruption and sodomy. A photo of Anwar with a black eye (which he incurred from a beating by then Inspector General of Police Rahim Noor) and one hand raised became a symbol of the political opposition in many reformasi posters.
The black eye was explained by Mahathir Mohamad and Rahim Noor as being “self-inflicted” and caused by “pressing a glass over his eyes”.’
– wikipedia entry
SEE ALSO:
Tunku’s Merdeka Day Nazi salute/Oh hai 5 people Hishammuddin Hussein’s Keris waving at UMNO’s 2005 Annual General Meeting
A Singaporean version of this would be sad. No, really.. S.A.D.
Haahahahaha love the differences between the two countries, worth a whole entry in itself. Zah, want to try it out!?!
That would be awesome.. Lemme try put some Singaporean lingo together and hopefully it’s as colourful as the Malaysian one!
Fantastic! Bring on SAD!!!